I Know It's Been Forever, But . . .

Back when I started doing this whole blog thing, I looked at a lot of other people's blogs and discovered a few cliches which I swore I would never stoop to. The main one being posts which start with the line: "I know it's been forever since I've posted on here, but . . ." followed by lame excuses about being crazy busy, terminally ill, dead, etc. These blogs always end with a promise to be a more faithful blogger in the future. (A statement belied by the fact that the post is 2 years old.)

Well, it HAS been forever since I've posted here and I HAVE been crazy busy (writing, kids, last-minute "Day of the Dead" edits, assorted hausfrau duties, my ill-fated State Senate campaign.) Actually, though, it's been more of a case of a lack of anything to say. My life is pretty routine, and a recent bout of extreme poverty (it's a viral thing- doctor says it might be chronic) has further limited my activities outside the house to not-very-thrilling trips to the park and the library. Not much grist for the web-log mill.

I know my faithful readers (all 2 of you) must be frustrated. My good friend Angie (see her four comments posted on my last entry) was especially vocal in her exasperation. She even took the drastic measure of deleting me from her 'favorites' folder, exiling me to the gulag of her desktop 'Recycle Bin,' an electronic purgatory where I drift in the ether along with her other abandoned interests- like the Milli Vanilli fan-site she used to be so enthusiastic about.

Well, still not much going on worth talking about. I did finally receive my check and free copy from the Canadian smut peddlers. My debut novel is as inauspicious and sleazy as I have feared. Random stock image photo on the cover, with the tag line "The wicked tale of a young woman's descent into depravity." This is somewhat mitigated by the jacket blurb- "Luminous- a tale of grace and power recalling early Hemingway." Thank you, Stephen King. I owe you one.

(Also- a note for any porno editors out there; you can not change a scene from gay to straight simply by converting the pronouns, though in this way you CAN make the scene much funnier.)

Anyway, check's in the bank and we went out for Chinese to celebrate, so I can't complain too much. Right now, though, I am actively searching for a way to wash the 'porn' taste out of my mouth. I'm looking to either enter a writing contest with a cash prize, or submit to a professional fiction magazine (print or on-line.)

In the past, I've gone about getting a story published in the only way which seemed logical to me: 1) Get an Idea, 2) Write the Story, 3) Send it out to everyone who might conceivably publish it. 4) Hope for the Best. This has so far not panned out, so I'm going to try it another way. I'm going to find a contest or a publication which I like and try to tailor a story specifically for the market. We'll see if I have any better luck with this approach.

My goal is to be able to answer the question: "Have you been published?" with a statement other than: "Well, sorta . . ."

Anyway, that's it for now. I promise to be a more faithful blogger in the future. Check back here for a new post in two years or so.